I went from being a single mom of one to a family of six overnight. This was beyond life-changing. Read all about it…
The alarm goes off in my pitch-black room. Zan Zan, our youngest, is snuggled up to me nursing. My husband, Daniel, is snoozing like he’s cutting logs right next to my head. I twist my arm smacking at my phone’s alarm trying to turn it off before it wakes everyone up. I stare up at my ceiling waiting for Zan Zan to release my boob while fighting to stay awake. He finally releases me, so I sit up slowly, grab my iPad, and tip toe out of my room.
I feel like a hot mess, my messy bun is barely holding onto the hair tie that I wrapped it in last night. At 36 years old, I always felt like I was going to be the cute little lady who rolled out of bed and began her amazing morning routine. I dreamed I would be living out a meditative yoga lifestyle while raising a beautiful family.
After having Zan Zan my reality is far from the life I dreamt of. My life is chaotic, messy, and full of ups and downs. Most days I feel like I am running a circus and barely holding on to the tight rope that is 100 ft in the air.
The first thing I do when I get to the kitchen is open my morning routine on my iPad.
- Make Zan Zan’s lunch and bottles for daycare.
- Make Aidan’s lunch for school.
- Pack my breakfast, lunch, and work items.
- Make Daniel’s and My coffee.
- Make breakfast and feed little humans.
- Get Zan Zan dressed.
- Get Aidan dressed.
- Make sure Chantel and Jacob are awake.
- Get dressed, do make up, and brush teeth.
If I don’t open my list and get started on it, I walk around like an angry zombie that has no direction. Most morning’s Daniel leaves me alone so I can get everything ready for the day.
Today, he didn’t. He came into the kitchen with the kids. At this point I was working on Aidan’s, our 6-year-olds lunch. Daniel, Zan Zan, and Aidan all start barking orders at my simultaneously. As I try to flow with their demands, I feel my anxiety start to creep higher. Get the kids breakfast, while trying to find all the pacifiers for Daniel to wash and continue to work on the set list for us to get out of the door on time.
I am not even halfway through the tasks that they first started barking at me when they start to make more demands. I am officially overwhelmed and walking around in zombie mode.
Zan Zan is our one-year-old, but he is not a traditional one year old. He climbs, talks, throws full body tantrums like a two-year-old. Zan Zan loves to figure out how to do anything that he sees us doing. So far he knows how to make a coffee, brush his hair and teeth, and switch the laundry over. I love that he is smart, but he is so hard to keep up with.
Aidan is our 6-year-old who never stops talking. He is creative, energetic, but a cautious mama’s boy. He loves to find loopholes in our rules but also loves following and creating his own rules.
Between both of these boys I am usually spinning around trying to get my bearings. Then when you throw Daniel in the mix it’s magnified even more. He is a strong handsome Gemini. So, he has two sides to him. There is the thoughtful loving man who is proactive in executing plans logistically. On the other side of Daniel is a big kid, he loves playing around with the kids and turning up the stress level by 3000 percent.
This morning Daniel was both. He was conquering what needs to be done while adding more things to my already struggling balancing act that I call my morning routine.
So needless to say, I erupted like a volcano.
I began to rant at Daniel,” Stop adding to my list, we have 15 mins to get out the door and I only got two things on my list done. We all must still get dressed and I haven’t even started to pack the stuff I need for the day.”
Daniel looks at me dumb founded. He had no idea that I have a physical list of things to get done. Nor does he have a concept of how time works in reality. But that is mostly because he runs his own company, so he doesn’t have to follow a schedule like the kids, and I do.
I walk over and grab my iPad and show Daniel my morning list that I must do every morning. He bursts out in laughter. He states with a cute smirk on his face, “Lavender, calm down I will help you with getting the kids ready. I should have known you had an actual list that you follow.”
I am a free-spirited individual whose mind always goes 3 million ways. If I don’t write things down, I am lost, and the things don’t get done. Daniel makes fun of me consistently because I have lists pinned up all over our house. If there could be a list, there will be. I have them for house cleaning, bathroom routines, kids’ morning routines, and more.
We leave out of the house 20 mins late. Daniel offers to take both kids to school so I can get back on track, so I let him.
After Daniel, Zan Zan, and Aidan leave the parking lot. I head to work. I begin my journey to work…
Stay toned on how we overcome the anxiety of life changing while being a mother.
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